Hold me to my Honor
by Eriks leadinglady
Summary: Severus Snape has honor. Even for those he hates the most.


_**Disclaimer:**_ _Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own the events/dialogue that you recognize. However, the reasoning behind these actions is mine._

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_**A/N:**_ _Currently, it's just a one-shot. I was just watching the third movie the other day, and I realized something. This is the outcome of my realization, and I hope you enjoy it! And please let me know what you think!_

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_**Hold me to my Honor**_

_By: Eriksleadinglady_

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"_It's a shame they don't realize how many could be saved."_

"_Oh?" _

_Lucius chuckled, delighted at his friend's played aloofness. Anyone who heard this story would want to know _all_ the details. Even thick-skulled, iron-faced Severus Snape._

"_Yes, yes. All those lives beyond the veil…" he trailed off, building the suspense._

_Snape was silent. He didn't want to seem too interested. After all, this information could be vital. For too long had he lived underneath the shadow of honor._

"_Funny how fear can disengage curiosity, isn't it, Severus?" questioned Lucius innocently. _

"_Some people, I believe, are immune to that belief, Lucius." And he meant every word of it, too. He thought of Potter with each syllable, and knew that Lucius would not fail to catch the non-versed implication._

"_Oh, I completely agree," went on the Death Eater nonchalantly. "But even the most arrogant of fools stay away from the veil. After all, who wants to go near the black abyss that no one is ever seen from again?" He laughed aloud at his own sarcasm. Meanwhile, Snape was mildly disgusted. Still, he played the not-so-interested-interested._

"_Is it not so?" he asked, eyebrows rising._

"_Of course not," spat Lucius a little more harshly than intended. "I know. Amazing what a little torturous interrogation can do for you." He paused, appearing to be thinking about where to go next, how much to tell. "The veil is not a black void for the dead." Lucius scoffed at the curtain being pulled over everyone's heads, including his own for a time. "But people are too blind-sighted to see past the scam the ministry has set up."_

"_Do tell."_

**Year 3**

The black dog jumped on the werewolf, biting and clawing at the monster in an attempt to discourage it. Knocking its killing blow away from the group, Sirius redoubled his efforts, effectively thwarting the attack.

Severus Snape looked on in disgust. Damn that K-9. Did he even realize what he had just done? Right now, Snape would rather be dead – like he should be – than in this position. This position was like being in the seventh circle of hell.

How, oh how, was he going to live like this? Severus Snape in a life debt to _Sirius Black_? Damn them all. _And me too. Maybe if I would've force-fed the wolfsbane, I would not be in this degrading situation. _He paused to let the loathing travel throughout him, trying to think of a bad enough word to describe this. All he could come up with, however, was,_ I hate that mutt_. That would have to be good enough.

The potions master felt someone move against his arm. He grabbed out in vain as Potter ran past him.

"Sirius!"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Get back here, Potter!" he spit out, knowing that it was a futile attempt. Potter was as arrogant as his last name implied.

Fine. Let Harry Potter go and get himself killed. It would be no matter to this professor.

In all actuality, that was true. Snape had already repaid his life debt to James bloody Potter. His son's life didn't mean a thing. Besides, he still had the other two all-too-noble Gryffindor's behind him. Protecting two lives was better than one, right?

Even though he knew that Black's life was in danger, he knew that the man would come away alive. After all, that mutt always found a way out – even in the worst of times. Like Azkaban. _Bloody Gryffindors_.

Still, Snape knew that one-day, he would have to save Sirius's life, whether he wanted to or not. Damn Remus Lupin. Damn Sirius Black. And damn a wizard's honor.

**Year 5** (_all quotes taken from Order of the Phoenix, pages 518-521_) 

"Sit down, Potter," Snape said when Harry entered the room. The boy looked between his godfather and his professor. They were sitting across from each other, both looking in opposite directions.

At the sound of Snape's voice, Sirius loudly responded, "You know I'd prefer it if you didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you know."

Snape flushed. Sure, he was here to inform Potter and goad Black, but that didn't make the insults any better.

Still, any sign of his pain was covered by his sneer between his curtains of black, greasy hair. "I was supposed to see you alone, Potter, but Black –"

"I'm his godfather."

Merlin's beard. What an annoying, mooting twit. It was obvious that Sirius was getting angry, his voice becoming louder and louder with each syllable. Snape, in contrast, only lowered his voice, but kept his smirk.

"I am here on Dumbledore's orders, but by all means, stay, Black, I know how you like to feel… involved."

"What's that supposed to mean?" argued Sirius.

This was too easy.

"Merely that I am sure you must feel – ah – frustrated by the fact that you can do nothing _useful_ for the Order."

Now Sirius flushed as Snape's lip curled in triumph. Yes, that will get the old mutt ticking. _Just what I need_.

He turned his attention to Harry. "The headmaster has sent me to tell you, Potter, that it is his wish for you to study Occlumency this term.

"Study what?" the teen said blankly.

Snape's sneer widened into a twisted looking grin; this boy was so ignorant.

"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one."

"Why do I have to learn Occlu - thing?"

The potions mast let the lack of respect slide. "Because the headmaster thinks it's a good idea," he continued smoothly. "You will receive private lessons once a week, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing, least of all Dolores Umbridge. You understand?"

"Yes," said Harry. At least the boy had sense enough not to argue. "Who's going to be teaching me?"

"I am," he said silkily. Oh, this was too good. Destroying two lives with one stone – how precious. Even if one of them was for his own ends and the other for Dumbledore's.

"Why can't Dumbledore teach Harry?" snarled Sirius. "Why you?"

Snape was still calm and collected. "I suppose that it is a headmaster's privilege to delegate less enjoyable tasks. I assure you I did not bed for the job." He got to his feet, preparing to leave. "I will expect you at six o'clock on Monday evening, Potter. My office. If anybody asks, you are taking Remedial Potions. Nobody who has seen you in my class could deny you need them."

He was about to leave when Sirius's voice stopped him.

"Wait a moment."

Snape faced them, sneering. These two were far too easy to goad – even when the circumstances were less entertaining.

"I am in rather a hurry, Black…" He really needed to stress this point. Everything relied upon this one fact. "Unlike you, I do not have unlimited leisure time."

"I'll get to the point, then."

Snape clenched his hand around his wand, just in case.

"If I hear you're using these Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you'll have me to answer to."

"How touching," Snape jeered. These Gryffindor's were all the same. "But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?"

The professor watched in terrible glee as Sirius puffed up with pride, stating, "Yes, I have."

He waited a moment before dealing the blow. "Well then, you'll know he's so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him."

Immediately Sirius was on his feet, wand out and squared straight at Snape. His face was livid, just as Snape had planned. The potions master calculated how best to get out of this without harming poor Black, but decided that maybe a hex would be a fine finish to an eventful day.

"Sirius!" Harry called out. But his godfather was not listening.

"I've warned you, _Snivellus_," said Sirius, relishing in the familiar usage of the insulting nickname. "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better – "

Ah, playing that card are we? 

"Oh, but why don't you tell him so?" whispered Snape. "Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mothers house very seriously?" Yes, a life debt was no good if his opponent never put himself in a position to get killed.

"Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?"

Oh, touché. Pity he didn't know that that man was the soon-to-be reason for his life.

"Speaking of dogs," countered Snape softly, "did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in the future, didn't it?"

"NO!" Harry yelled, vaulting himself between the two. "Sirius, don't –"

"Are you calling me a coward?" roared Sirius, trying to get past Harry.

"Why, yes, I suppose I am," said Snape gleefully.

Mission accomplished.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_(All __quotes taken from OotP pages 744-746)_

Snape entered into Umbridge's office behind Draco Malfoy, his black hair covering the sides of his face. He looked about the room, taking careful, indifferent glances at each of the struggling pairs of students.

"You wanted to see me, headmistress?" asked Snape, forcing politeness into his voice. He hated calling her _that_.

"Ah, Professor Snape," said Umbridge, rising from her seat. "Yes, I would like another bottle of Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please."

He looked at her closely, knowing just where this was going. "You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter. Surely you did not use it all? I told you that three drops would be sufficient."

Snape sneered at the blush that rose to the toad's cheeks. _Not so high-and-mighty now, are we, Dolores? Pity you don't have any left, though, I would've loved to see it…_

"You can make some more, can't you?" she said, her voice becoming more sweetly girlish.

Snape cringed on the inside at the sound of her voice. Some women were truly vile, and no one more so than Dolores Umbridge. Still, he hid what he felt on the inside and had on his cold, professor mask as he said, "Certainly. It takes a full moon cycle to mature, so I should have it ready in around a month."

"A month?" squawked Umbridge. God this woman was annoying. "A month? But I need it this evening, Snape! I have just found Potter using my fire to communicate with person or persons unknown!"

"Really?" said Snape, at last showing some interest in this conversation. Maybe with evening wasn't going to be completely pointless after all. Perhaps Potter's lack of obedience had actually gotten him somewhere. Still he feigned partial indifference and suffered the thought no longer than needed. "Well, it doesn't surprise me. Potter has never shown much inclination to follow school rules."

For a moment, he locked eyes with Potter. The boy did seem rather frantic. Maybe if he could only implore his mind…

"I wish to interrogate him!"

Oh, that foul, loathsome, squabbling woman.

"I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell me the truth!"

"I have already told you," said Snape smoothly, showing no signs of his agitation, "that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter – and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did – I cannot help you. The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling…."

He looked again at Potter, who still seemed to be trying to tell him something. Sadly, Potter was abysmal at Occlumency, so any attempt was lost on him. Could the boy do nothing that he tried to teach him?

"You are on probation!" screeched the toad-like woman. Snape raised his eyebrows in mock concern. A break from teaching these infernal brats until Dumbledore returns? That seemed like a fine idea…

"You are being deliberately unhelpful! I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you! Now get out of my office!"

Snape gave a mocking bow and turned to leave. At last he was able to leave that infernal woman's presence! That ugly little slit in her face was almost bubbling over with saliva from her incessant speaking! He was grateful for any release. But when his hand was resting upon the doorknob, Potter spoke.

"He's got Padfoot! He's got Padfoot in the place where it's hidden!"

Snape paused. At last that Black mutt was in danger! Or not… Snape knew all about the Dark Lord's plans and kidnapping Black was certainly not one of them. So that only meant… Yes, yes, yes. He could certainly play Potter's open mind as an advantage. Still, he would check in on Black… But that could wait.

Right now…

Umbridge was squawking again.

"Padfoot? What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?"

Hadn't she realized that he would not answer any of her questions honestly?

"I have no idea." He turned to Harry. "Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe," he added for good measure, "loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention in on your reference if ever you apply for a job."

Then he closed the door behind him in a swirl of cloak.

That went rather well.

Now, he just had to check on Black. If he in fact was missing…well… that just wouldn't do. He had to die where Snape planned him too. If not, this life debt would loom over him forever.

But, of course, Black was still at home. No danger there. Now all he had to do was time it just right. Surely Potter would leave for the Department of Mysteries sometime soon. After all, he couldn't stand the thought of anyone he loves in danger. His saving-people-thing should kick in rather soon.

Snape smiled. Yes. This plan was perfect. But of course what else was expected when it was he who had planned it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Pulling Harry along by the scruff of the neck, Snape cursed the boy thrice for be so uncooperative.

"Come along now, Potter. I haven't got all day," said Snape, thankful that he was much taller and stronger than the teen, otherwise this would be much more difficult.

"I – don't – want – to – GO!" yelled Harry as he tried to thrash about.

Roughly Snape pulled the boy to him. "You will be grateful for what I am doing, Potter. No matter how much you loathe the place – "

"But you hate me! Why would you try to help me?"

"That is true, boy. But my honor is more important to me than my hatred," Snape spat.

Harry at last pulled himself free from the professor's grip.

"Honor? What's this got to do with honor?" At first he seemed honestly curious, but then emotional Harry came, causing him to turn angry. _Damn teenagers and their hormones._

"How honorable is dragging me to the Department of Mysteries going to be? You know what happened to him, know how I felt about him, and yet you dare to bring me back there? I know you hate the both of us, but please, spare me the lecture about how guilty I must feel."

Cursing Harry again (and himself for wanting to bring the boy along) he replied starkly, "If you would wait for one moment, Potter, you would see that I am not lecturing you. And do you honestly believe that I would bring you along simply so that I could have the pleasure of your company?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

Harry grumbled something unintelligible.

"I'll take that as a no. Now, I assure you that what I am going to show you will be worth your time."

At last Harry looked up and met Snape's dark eyes. "I swear if you're lying to me…"

Snape waved off the rest of the sentence with his hand. "Yes, yes. You'll hex me into oblivion." Harry couldn't help but smile. "Now come along. Like I said before, I haven't got all day."

This time – Snape was pleased to see – Harry was actually willfully following him. Perhaps dealing with teenagers was more effective when being nice. Perhaps he should change his actions… He snorted. Right. Making silly little brats miserable was far more entertaining.

When they got to the Department of Mysteries, Harry began brooding. Snape ignored this. After all, he knew that this temper would not last too long. At least, if what Lucius Malfoy had told him was true. And he bet that it was, otherwise he would not even be here.

They walked in silence. Harry only staring numbly at the floor, and Snape frowning. Once this was all over, Snape would be both relieved and disappointed. He didn't want Black back, but, at the same time, he had to bring him back. It was his duty. Bloody duty. Bloody honor. Bloody life debts. Bloody veil. But, it was the veil that actually helped him into this plan in the first place. A dungeon for the wicked, not the dead. After all, what Bellatrix Lestrange had used on Black was not a killing curse. And although Snape knew that there was probably enough hatred behind that spell to cause injury, it would not cause death. Instead, it only threw him back far enough for him to fall into the veil. Which, to Black's luck, could be broken into. That was where Lucius Malfoy had come in.

Snape had told Harry none of this, however. He wanted it all be to a happy surprise. Plus, he didn't want Potter to be grateful to him for longer than necessary. After all, he wasn't doing this for Harry; he was doing this to clear his own conscious.

When they got to the veil, they both just stood before it, staring at it. Harry watched the veil blowing slightly, listening to the voices. Snape, too, heard the voices and this was evidence enough that Lucius was right.

Deciding that now was as good a time as ever, Snape walked stiffly over to the veil and knelt before it. Drawing out his wand, he began muttering the spell under his breath. It was a rather complicated spell, but Snape was not fazed by it. From the tip of his wand a white light came forward and began growing larger and larger, encircling the veil. The light struggled against the darkness of the veil, as though it was battling for entry. The light shrank back a bit, causing Snape to reinforce the spell to make it stronger. At last the light penetrated into the dark abyss. Snape's eyes widened as he saw a thousands of shapes outlined by the light. They continued whispering, although it was now louder than normal.

Knowing that it was now or never – the light could only penetrate for so long – he uttered the last part of the spell, and then said the name, "_Sirius Orion Black_."

All the power of the light then focused upon one of the shadows, leaving the others in darkness. Then the one shadow was drawn forward with increasing speed until it was right at the entry of the veil. The light was now so blinding that Harry was covering his eyes, and Snape was squinting.

Then the lighted shadow pressed its palms against the invisible barrier between it and the outside world. The action caused the barrier to crumble and the shape came tumbling through, landing right beside Snape.

Seeing that it was completed, Snape broke the connection with the light and it dissipated with a swirl into nothing.

Breathing hard, he looked next to him and saw Sirius Black lying there. Seeing his nemesis, hatred filled Snape, but he didn't say anything. After all, he was the one who brought the mutt back. To say anything about hatred now would be considered hypocritical.

Sirius opened his eyes and took a startling breath of life. His head turned frantically from left to right, saw Snape, and then he sat bolt upright.

"You –" he began but was cut off by a weak voice.

"S-Sirius?"

Black recognized the voice immediately and he swiftly turned to look at his godson.

"Oh Harry…"

Slowly the boy took hesitant steps toward his godfather. "I-Is it r-really you?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Yes, Potter, it is really Black. Now just hug him or whatever the hell you're going to do so we can leave."

Hearing Snape say it made everything real. Betraying the glistening in his eyes, Harry broke out into a grin and rushed to Sirius's side. Then he threw his arms around him, knocking him clean to the floor once again. Sirius returned the hug and smiled, too, his own eyes glistening with tears.

Neither of them said anything, their actions saying everything that words could not speak.

Snape was on his feet and cleared his throat, indicating that he was still there. He was uncomfortable by this show of affection. Seeing his two enemies so... so bloody _happy_ made him almost ill. He knew this would happen, and yet he had done it anyway. And still, to his inner hatred, he was mildly proud of himself. He had made Harry Potter and Sirius Black happy. The irony brought a smirk to his lips. He hated them, and yet he was the reason for their ecstasy.

As if noticing the awkwardness, Sirius patted Harry and gave him a knowing look. Harry nodded his head and moved away from his godfather so he could stand. Nimbly Sirius rose to his feet and walked over to Snape.

He placed a hand on the shoulder of his savior, causing said man to flinch.

Then he said quietly, so that only Snape could hear him, "I know what you did, Severus. And I am eternally grateful to you. I don't know how you did it, or how you knew, and I don't believe I want to, but I thank you." He paused, smiling at Snape, which caused the potions master to cringe and hate him even more. "I do have one question though. Why?"

Snape sighed. He knew this was coming. "I owed you a life debt."

Sirius's eyes opened in shock. "But when…"

"Third year. You battled a certain werewolf…"

Realization dawned in his eyes. "But I was protecting Harry then…"

"You also saved my life from that cursed beast," spat Snape. "And believe me, I would have rather died that night than be in debt to you. Because even I have honor, Black, and I was bound by it. So I calculated a little plan… but I wouldn't imagine that you could even fathom all that I went through to do this. It took very precise calculations, and, if I had been anyone else, it would never have worked."

"Has everything you done since third year just been a plan to get us here?" asked Harry who, like always, had eavesdropped their conversation.

Snape glared at the boy. _Why that no good…_ "Yes."

"Even… even Occlumency?" he asked hesitantly.

"You mean you not learning the art so quickly as you would have liked?"

The boy nodded.

Snape sneered in pure joy. "No. Your own incompetence gets the praise for that feat. I never could have done it without that."

Harry blushed.

"However, I do get the credit for making the Dark Lord send you that little message about the Department of Mysteries. But I was not sure if He would actually steal Black literally, or just pretend to. That's why I checked in on Black."

"So you made him _die_ just so that you could bring him back and get out of your little _debt_?" said Harry, letting more anger slip into his voice than intended.

Snape's lip curled as he pushed his hair out of his face. "Of course, Potter. I would do no less."

Then Harry stalked past him and began on the journey out.

"I wasn't really dead, was I?" asked Sirius quietly when Harry was already a good distance away.

"No. But I think the real version would just confuse Potter. He's not the brightest boy."

Sirius tried very hard to not retort to that, which made Snape's smirk widen into a grin. "So," said Sirius, forcing lightness into his tone, "what was I?"

Snape shrugged. "A prisoner. The veil recognizes wicked people and their sins. It also recognizes those whose have been in Azkaban, like you. Even though you have not done anything truly wicked, the veil cannot discern that. It does not recognize good deeds, only bad. Or rather what the Ministry constitutes as bad."

"Right." He paused. "Well then, I best get to Harry. I'm sure he'll be angry as ever."

Then he strode past Snape and began on his way.

"Black!" Snape called after him.

"Yes, Severus?"

"Never save my life again."

Sirius smiled broadly. "Oh, I don't know Severus. You know us Gryffindors… We all tend to have a saving people thing." He shrugged. "I don't think I'll be able to help myself if you ever get into trouble."

Then Snape strode angrily past him, mumbling something about, "Noble, arrogant, bloody Gryffindors…"

Sirius couldn't help but laugh jovially as he followed after Snape, who now hated himself more than ever.

_**A/N**__: Heehee! It makes me happy inside… Sirius is back! And Snape always has a hidden meaning for everything he does! He's a genius!_

_I hope it wasn't too confusing, don't hesitate to ask any questions!_

_Please let me know what you think!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_E. Ll_


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